10 More Weeks. Also we went to Cornwall.

Uuuuurgh. The temperature is scorching, this city sucks at AC, and I am eight months pregnant. I keep wanting to update this blog, just like I really want to do all kinds of things that would require the most minimal initiative. Like taking off my crusty toenail polish, or getting up at night to pee. It's not that I can't. It's just that I CAN'T. 

I'm like a slug in the desert: won't be long now. 

That said, I must, I HAVE to, I cannot NOT post pictures of our family vacation to England. So here they are. Photos. With captions. 

We were staying in a lovely cottage in Lostwithiel, which is near Fowey, which is a Picturesque Ancient Village on the southern Cornish coast. It was charming. The stone walls were charming, the exposed rafters were charming, the sheep were charming, the herbs and flowers were charming, the clotted cream, scones and tea that awaited Alex, Noodle, my parents and me on arrival were charming. You get the picture. I don't know why you are still reading; this blog post sucks. I'm sorry. Don't leave. I love you.

I might be pregnant. 

Anyway, we kicked off our week in Cornwall by visiting  one of the most charming places I've ever been: the Lost Gardens of Heligan. It is basically paradise. Especially for kids. 

There are green giants

There are logs and things to climb over

If the airline loses your stroller, you can always ride on daddy's head

There's a little jungle that has all the beautiful sights with none of the leeches, mosquitos, thumb-sized ants, flesh-melting wasps or face-sized spiders, which I personally always found to be the most distressing part of the real life rainforest.

A jungle where you have to wear a sweater. Heaven.

Complete with rope bridge. If you bring a toddler, you can carry her across while she screams about wanting to go by herself. Extra points if you don't accidentally drop her into the pond below!

There were dewy meadow flowers

Perfect for sitting in.

CHEEEEEEESE.

Hydrangeas are a Cornish theme, apparently. They are everywhere. 

Grandma was around, so Nava had braids all the time.

Her first ever emu. She thought they were hilarious.
Which is understandable, since they look like evil,
noodle-necked, five-foot dumplings on stilts.

Epic meltdown because we wouldn't let
her cross the electrified fence to pet the pigs. 

Granddad spent much of our vacation teaching Nava to recognize different types of poop. The turd you cannot really see on this picture was, I believe, bunny. We also saw horse, cow, pig, sheep and goat shit. "Sheep shit, mommy," said my then-one year-old. "Hahahaha!" The animals were invisible to her. All she cared about was their feces.

Sheep shit. Also, sheep.

At the end of a long, stroller-less day it was blankie + pacifier on top of daddy's head.

My parents and some hell cabbage*

I think my mom said these were ancient giant rhododendrons*

Typical Cornish coastline, plus cow and sheep poop.

Restormel Castle. Here is what I remember about the history of Restormel Castle: It was built in the early Middle Ages. It used to have four wooden towers. It is good for castles to be round. 
There was a moat..Yeah, I'm out.
Man, this vacation was super educational.

Granddad, Nana and Noodle on the grounds of Restormel Castle.

Noodle and me.

Can you spot my father?

Bubble.

This is the Eden Project, which we visited on a rainy day because it has giant indoor biomes.

The Mediterranean Biome.

Indoor vineyard plus dancing sculptures.

Now that I have a kid, I have an excuse to participate in all of those free, character-building activities that libraries, zoos and other public places put on for the entertainment and edification of children. Here in the biome we visited a storyteller. Here is my father, sitting in the storyteller's big wooden throne. 

There was also a Rainforest Biome, and in this biome there were these little guys.

And a giant banana flower.

And so on.

The best part was this tiny air-conditioned box along the middle of the trail, whose sole function was to keep sweaty British people from keeling over dead in the middle of their approx. 30-minute biome experience. It was packed to the gills. 

Outside it was raining. Except apparently they don't do raindrops in Cornwall. Instead it is this sort of ultra violent mist that I found pretty refreshing but which, if I had to live in it, would drive me to distraction and maybe the colonisation of Asia.

Aaaand that's for now. Here are ships.

And that is but a fraction of a fraction of our holiday photo collection! Don't worry, I'll be back to bore you with more tomorrow. <3 <3 <3

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

*I'm not very good at plant names. 

Dribs and Drabs

Alex is sick, I am sick, the Noodle is sick. It is very gray and very cold outside. Bleargh. Our apartment is awash in Kleenex and yuck. Seems like a great time to update the old blog with some pictures from the last month or so, in which we went to the zoo twice and enjoyed a wonderful visit from my mom, aka Grandma aka Nana. 

Brace yourself for a ton of photos, because I don't have the brains to write today. 

Our first zoo trip, about a month ago, was with a group our friend Antonia, her siblings, their respective partners, and all their babies. It was madness, and lots of fun. Our second zoo trip, last week, resulted in far fewer photos because we were already totally jaded by wild caged animals. We were with Alex's brother and his wife, plus their fabulous daughter Charlotte, who gave the Noodle this awesome stuffed pink llama. Because I am awesome, I don't have photos of any of these things. However, I have a picture of this lemur: 

By our second zoo trip, we were jaded as this lemur. 

Here is a young elephant. 

Our only real photo of Noodle during Visit #2: Speaking with a distant cousin. 

The rest of these photos are from our first visit. Here we see a young Mr. O on a giant salamander,
in front of the salamander climbing wall. Obviously.

Noodle and Sir E. We took about 475 photos at this juncture. Amazingly,
this is the best one. Sad indictment of my photo skills/ toddlers' ability to stay still
and smile in the same direction at the same time. 

Mr. O and his mama. 

A rhino. In case you were unsure. This was just one of the many animals
that Miss Noodle did not give a flying f*** about. 

Not pictured: Multiple adults behind the camera, begging their kids
to look this direction. 

A dopey looking pelican. So cute! (This IS a pelican, right?)

Mr. E and his daddy and mommy, inspecting the most interesting
animal at the zoo...the foliage. 

Miss Noodle and Alex near the elephant enclosure. 

It is us!

Noodle inside the ibis enclosure. So much excitement!

A week later, my own Mommy came to town. With a suitcase of presents and two hands for playing with her granddaughter. She is probably the Noodle's favourite person ever. I'm trying to think of a clever analogy to demonstrate how well they fit together, but I'm not really in top mental form right now. They fit together like, like...they fit each together like a thing and its analogy, for example.

...Yeah, that'll have to do.

Anyway. Behold! A smattering of photos with Grandma.

Grandma, Alex and a grumpy, hungry Noodle at the Bienenfest (Bee Festival). 

The weather was properly Byronic.

Noodle riding a wooden snail.

And crossing a mini suspension bridge...

We were am Himmel, a beautiful (more so when the sun shines) hilltop
featuring a restaurant, tree circle, vineyards and this epic playground. 

Okay, apparently I can't find any more photos from Grandma's visit. Hmm. But here is Noodle. 

Right. Sadly, this is all the energy I can muster at this time. Do you know how tired we are? We are so tired that we fed our 14 month old daughter chicken nuggets from McDonalds because I can't be bothered to cook two warm meals today. (Alex seems to think this is fine. I think we should never tell anyone it happened...oops). And the television has been on literally all day. And as I type this the Noodle is unwinding a whole roll of paper towels and we are pretending not to notice. And we do not care. That is how zippy and dynamic we are over here, friends.

Have a lovely Sunday!

*COUGH COUGH COUGH COUGH COUGH COUGH SNIFFLE*